Seriously. There are a few basic concepts in which you need to become proficient or your writing will suffer the consequences. Don’t take these foibles to task and ultimately, at some point, you will have killed your writing for good.
I recently picked up a book at a thrift store for a buck. Grammar Snobs Are Great Big Meanies: A Guide to Language for Fun and Spite
Perfectionists need not apply
Let me be clear from the outset: I am of the opinion that your writing does not have to be perfect. If you strive for perfection then you are in for a long and frustrating trip, spending all of your time at dreary rest stops along the writing highway. With that said, you do need to have a grasp of the language, and you should always be trying to better your command of English.
Any MFA editor could tear most any post I write to shreds. I haven’t put a perfect one out there yet. This bothers me not. I’m very happy with my style and voice and for the most part I try and avoid any egregious transgressions. I know that there are areas that I can improve, and I’m always getting a little better.
Here we go
These are not all necessarily grammar related:
Contractions – I use these all of the time. They are part of my style. I try to write like the voice in my head sounds to me, which is conversational. I’ve not had the opportunity to write something so formal that they would be discouraged. That’s ok with me.
You need to know how to use them appropriately. Placement of the ‘ is crucial. Don’t rely on a spell checker to point these out for you – spell checkers are notorious for getting it wrong.
Commonly goofed up words with contractions: you’re, aren’t, don’t, haven’t I’ve, I’ll and a hundred others. The apostrophe goes in to replace certain letters – not spaces. So are not becomes aren’t. The space between “are” and “not” just goes away and the apostrophe replaces the “o” in not. Think of contractions in these terms and you’ll avoid most contraction crashes.
Proper word usage – If you want the grammar police to come knocking at your door, this is a sure way to make it happen. While I am normally pretty relaxed about this stuff these things may bring me out of the closet wielding a bat: Your and you’re; there, their, they’re; to, too, two.
For the love of Pete, please get these right.
Your is possessive. “George, is that your bat?” You’re is a contraction of you are. “George, you’re going to smack me with that bat?” Please, please, please get this right.
Their is possessive. “George, their intention was not to drive you crazy.” They’re is a contraction of the words “they and “are”. “George, they’re promising to never do it again.”
Adverbs – These verb modifiers will kill your fiction writing, he said sadly. Remember that with all of your writing is is better to show than to tell.
Tyler’s crooked grin was menacing. “Sure, I can help you put that in the truck.”
That sounds a lot better than:
Tyler said menacingly, “Sure, I can help you put that in the truck.”
Adverbs are the quickest way to kill your prose. Don’t use them. Or, use them sparingly, I guess.
Stunted, boring dialogue – Good dialogue is a joy to read, advances the story and is a great tool for character development. Bad dialogue kills your writing. That loud slap you heard was the sound of a reader shutting your book, never to open it again.
Here is an excerpt from my novel in progress, Bully:
The Billisons lived one street over and two houses down. Eddie ran/walked/ran over and just about ran poor Angie over as he rounded the corner of the house.
“Jeez, Eddie. Where’s the fire?!”
“Sorry, Angie.” Eddie gasped. He was bent over, hands resting on his knees, catching his breath. “Denis and…James. Found a…cave. Wanna go see?”
“Whoopee!” Angie clapped her hands and started running.
“Hey, where ya goin’!?”
“To get my bike! I’ll meet you at your house!”
Eddie stood there on the Billison’s front lawn, shaking his head as he watched her go. “That girl is wound up tighter than a ten dollar watch.”
No adverbs, not a lot of extra clutter. But does this brief snippet give you a good idea about the scene and the two characters? I hope so. Simple and true to life.
When writing dialogue, use the voice in your head. Picture the scene and the characters involved. Use dialogue as a great opportunity to build your characters.
That’s not all
I just noticed that my word count is approaching 900 and I hate going more than about 500 so I’m stopping here. I’ll probably do a follow up post at some point, ’cause Lord knows, there’s a lot more than this that is killing your writing.
Your turn. Thoughts and comments about what you think kills writing?
High School English class was a long time ago, so thanks for the refresher. If people are going to think I’m an idiot, I’d prefer that it is because they disagree with my content, rather than because of a grammatical faux pas!
Evan´s last blog post..Garlic Pork Chops
I know sometimes on my blogs, I write “you’re” instead of “your”, etc., ’cause I’m in a hurry–or just ’cause I’m really tired when I’m writing it. Please don’t shoot me!
*runs and ducks*
Michele
P.S. I see what you’re saying, though. Those are simple things to catch if we’re paying attention!!
Michele´s last blog post..Exciting News for Healing with (Raw) Juices!!!
Hey Evan – I’ve got a whole collection of reasons why people think I’m an idiot. I can email you the file, but it’s like 14 gigs.
George
Oh Michele,
For you, I’d use no more than a wiffle-bat. And it would be only little ol’ love taps.
George
Aw! Thanks.
My grammar does keep some people from subscribing to my blog and I’ve lost subscribers this way. I have got a few emails here and there about it. I don’t know, I like typing it the way I would say it. I like the person to know I am talking to them.
KushMoney´s last blog post..Pitbull Poker March Promotional Code
Kush,
That’s why I think it’s important to not stress too much over it. As long as you’re comfy with your voice and it connects to your readers. Minimizing mistakes does give any writing that you do a more professional appearance, but like I said, go with what works for you.
George
Really solid advice here. Great post.
My biggest struggle with grammar up until this point is dealing with subject-verb agreement. There are a lot of subtle rules within it. It’s simply not always easy to apply correctly.
I really admire you George. The Joker, one of the creepiest entities alive holds your picture and yet you still have a giant smile on your face. Pretty amazing!
I could picture you going up against Godzilla or something with that kind of countenance on your face. You would truly confuse the adversary.
Bamboo Forest – PunIntended´s last blog post..The Art of Artery Clogging: A Recipe
Hey, I never realized that one about the adverb thingie. Guess I’ll have to try it – and a hat tip for the, uh, tip!
your and you’re is my favorite. I sometimes wonder about see, saw, seen and if I am not sure I re-word the sentence!
so.. annoying or helpful?
Dee Langdon – BloggerNewbie´s last blog post..Annoying or Helpful?
My mom used to be the editor of our newspaper so she really drilled spelling and grammar into me since I was a kid. That doesn’t stop me from giving less than two craps about being perfect. I don’t write fiction, so I don’t fret if I don’t have proper punctuation and all that jazz. I do my best to get it right, but I write how I talk, and sometimes it comes out a little strange cause I’m a weirdo.
I do however notice when other writers make mistakes, and one that really bothers me is using “a” before a word that starts with a vowel. Like a apple.
Cassie´s last blog post..Media Temple – Web hosting that kicks ass
Nice tips. I’ve taken many English classes, and my grandmother was an English professor so I try so hard to polish up my grammar, but every once in a while I’ll slip up or fall into some silly writing habit. A think more posts like this would really help!
Brittany´s last blog post..Saturday Sprinkles 02.21.09
Bamboo,
You are so nice to say that! My engagement with Godzilla is scheduled for next week. I’ll try and get more pix!
I appreciate you coming by, Ryan.
George
Robert,
I’m glad I could be a little ray o’ sunshine in your day!
Thanks for stopping in.
George
Dee,
Oh yeah. Totally helpful!
The whole your and you’re thing is the granddaddy, I think.
I reword sentences all of the time to make something fit for me.
Cheers!
George
Cassie,
Let me just say that you ROCK! That is exactly the right attitude. You’ve got your voice, you’re happy with it and you just get out there and write.
Most impressive.
Come back again, ok?
George
Hi Brittany,
Thanks for the feedback. I do think I may make this a regular kind of thing. I fall into habits as well. A few months back I was proofing a post before I published the darn thing and it was LITTERED with commas. They were everywhere! I fixed it I think, but I really pay attention to that kind of thing now.
George
Ha, thanks George! I tell myself that I rock all the time but it’s nice to hear other people say it
I’ll definitely be coming back. I’m a regular reader! I really enjoy this blog.
Cassie´s last blog post..Making money with special reports
George,
You are right. I been doing more and more promotion for my blog and doing tons of posts. I went from 60+ subscribers to 80+ subscribers. Hopefully I will have 100+ subscribers in a week or 2.
KushMoney´s last blog post..Pitbull Poker March Promotional Code
No problem! I will definitely visit often in search of your posts.
They’ll prove very useful.
Brittany´s last blog post..Update: Subscribe by Email and Tweet!
Heh, the adverbs thing reminded me of grammar school writing when our teachers would encourage us to use them. I guess they figured that after all the work of teaching us what they were, we should use them and our stories would be full of people sadly or merrily or loudly saying all sorts of things.
My problem? I am the queen of run on sentences. My habit is to just write and write and write and throw in some random dashes and semi-colons, perhaps some parenthetical statements, but periods? Oh, am I stingy with the full stops.
Tracy´s last blog post..Shangri-La Diet Week 2.5
Oh, Tracy. Just stop it. Period. I mean it. You know better. No. No more run ons. OK?
George;-)
Funny. My 4th grader — no grammar freak — said he can’t start a sentence with “And” when he saw me starting with one. Talk about feeling self-conscious. I told him he was right as I know teachers won’t want to see that.
Meryl Evans´s last blog post..What the Writing Community Teaches
Your comments about perfectionism remind me of Anne Lamott’s words: “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you insame your whole life.” Don’t let fears of not writing perfectly grammatical sentences paralyze you!
Great summary of grammar, George — and what an interesting picture!
Laurie
Hi Meryl,
Yeah, from the mouths of babes. It’s kind of funny. I sub teach and a lot of the 4th and 5th graders really do understand their grammar. I think high school and hormones must make grammar skills go away.
George
Yay! Laurie, I’m glad to see you here.
Those perfectionists (external or internal) can put a damper on our writing. It’s great advice I think to not be intimidated by perfection.
And personally, I like that pic too. It perfectly portrays this post, IMHO.
George
Pingback: Links: March out Little Lamb Edition | Meryl.net