grammar

All posts tagged grammar

Are Writers Too Jacked-Up About Grammar?

Posted by george on January 23, 2012
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: . 33 comments

I was cruising through my Twitter feed the other day and I came across a tweet that caused me to cringe. The person was tweeting about an article that was titled something like Loosing your copyright rights. Shudder. Normally I just shake my head and move on. I was about to do just that when I realized the tweeter calls themselves a writer. You have got to be kidding me.

Glass House

I live in a glass house. I have a long term lease on the thing, I think. This means that typically I don’t throw a lot of stones because I know that I am not the world’s best grammarian. Mostly my stuff is passable but there are subtleties I’ve yet to grasp and there are times I outright ignore the rules in the name of style. I also know that typos sneak in now and then and I can live with that. I’m always working on minimizing those little buggers.

In the case noted above, I find it difficult to believe the “loosing” gaff was a typo. It falls into the pen where all the your/you’re, to/too, there/their chuckleheads are hanging out. Like I said, I’m no grammar expert but these things are the most basic and I think that any (even slightly) literate adult should have a grasp of them. Any adult who professes to be a writer has no excuse to not have a grasp.

My semi-emotional response to this gaff got me thinking about how tough writers can be on other writers. I see terms like “Grammar Nazis” and “Grammar Police” tossed about. I admit to having mixed feelings about those terms. There are times when I would count myself as one of those folks. Being one of those people also kind of goes against my easy-going nature.

I tend to be more forgiving to the average person screwing up a loose/lose proposition. Writers, however, do not get a free pass on this one. It’s like an accountant not knowing the difference between subtraction and division. It’s like a pilot not knowing the landing gear should be down for landing. And while the consequences of poor grammar cannot be equated to a pile of aluminum on the runway, in terms of professionalism and advancing a writing career the implications are the same.

In four years that I have been blogging and freelancing, I’ve run across this topic numerous times. My point is that if someone calls themselves a writer, how could they possibly have missed this conversation? Do they not engage in any of the writing arenas on the Internet? Or do they see the topic and not see themselves? It is a mystery to me.

If you are a writer, what is your take on this? How forgiving are you and does it make a difference if the perp is a writer?

 

Blowing Off Some Grammar Steam

Posted by george on September 2, 2010
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , . 16 comments

A couple of weeks ago I received an assignment to rewrite a couple dozen blog articles. I always find it a bit fascinating to read blog articles that I’ve been asked to rewrite. At first, I wonder why it is that they need to be rewritten. I mean, how did they come to be accepted in the first place? As well, opening each article is kind of like opening Christmas presents in some Bizzaro-World. Each one is filled with all kinds of grammatical stocking stuffers.

I need to preface things by letting you folks know that I am not the world’s best writer. Shocking, I know. For the sake of consistency, I always have a typo or two in darn near everything I write.

After completing this last batch of rewrites, I can honestly say that there must be hope for me and my writing career.

Here are a few of the things to which I was exposed:

The comma fetish – There was a writer who felt the need to use, like, commas for well, everything that could, be considered a, pause in speech. The thing is, by getting rid of the commas the prose was tighter and read better to my inner ears. If it was only a matter of style, I may have let them be. As it was, they were a major distraction so I kicked them to the curb.

Sentence fear – Oh-Em-Gee. There were and-mines everywhere. More buts than a booty convention, too. Why this fear of making a new sentence? It’s easy. At the end of a thought, hit the key with the little dot on it, thusly: . Now, spacebar, spacebar then press and hold the “shift” key as you type the first letter of a brand new, shiny sentence. Some of these run ons were so long, they ended up being parasentences or sentengraphs. Or something.

Informal tone – “Hey, Yippy-skippy here. How’d ya like to know about the seven most awesome dog polishers ever invented?” We all know that my tone on Tumblemoose tends to be a bit on the informal side but when I’m writing blog posts for others, I kick things up a bit. I’m not saying the writing needs to be stiff, I’m saying it needs to be a bit more professional.

Of coarse – Not a typo. One writer started about every third sentence with “Of course”. On occasion, in very specific circumstances this phrase may be warranted. Otherwise it comes off as condescending and arrogant. Of course, I could be wrong about this.

Cutesy cute – That simile that it took hours to come up with? Not cute. Not at all. In fact it is often distracting and amateurish. This goes back to one of the hardest things about being a good writer. Stephen King puts it best in On Writing: Kill your darlings. That’s right. That extremely clever quip or simile needs to go away. I’m talking tone and professionalism.

Format or floormat – When writing blog articles for submission to a client, simple is best. 12 point font, Times New Roman, minimal heading formatting, standard bullets and for most clients, submitting in MS Word or Open Office is expected. If you are serious as a freelance writer, suck it up and quit writing your posts in Notepad. .txt and .rtf are so Web 1.0

It was a definite challenge to bring some of the articles back from the edge of death. As with most writing assignments, I learned a great deal about myself and my writing abilities.

What say you? Have you been in the position of rewriting someone else’s work? How did it go?

How to be a Gentleman

Posted by george on October 27, 2009
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , , . 11 comments

gentlemanOne of my most favorite books of all time is How To Be A Gentleman : A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy .  In the years that I have owned this book, it has taught me things I did not know, and confirmed other things that I thought to be true.

There are a lot of ugly things in the world.  Behaviors and attitudes that if brought under the harsh glare of daylight should cause shame or at a minimum, pause.  How to be a Gentleman brings some courtesy and civility into a world that seems to have lost much of the same.

I guess maybe it’s just where I am right now, but it seems timely to put this post together and share this with the world.  Enjoy some of these some wonderful excerpts from the book.

In a theater, church or any place where people have gathered to hear music, a gentleman always turns his cell or pager off.

A gentleman does not hesitate to screen his calls.
A gentleman never eats his lunch while he is behind the wheel of a vehicle.

A gentleman does not assume it is the other person’s responsibility to provide the condoms.

A gentleman does not use his car horn indiscriminately.  On the other hand, he is not sheepish about giving an occasional honk to avoid disaster.

If the hour is terribly early or extremely late, a gentleman does not phone a private residence.

A gentleman does not feel obliged to invite other people’s pets to his house.

A gentleman does not touch other people’s children, unless he is invited to do so.

If a bellhop offers to assist a gentleman in hailing a cab, a gentleman accepts the offer, understanding that a tip is implied.

A gentleman never feels that he must say pleasant things about unpleasant people.  Even when describing pleasant people, he does not stretch the truth.  Goodness, when accurately described, can stand on its own.

A gentleman always offers to share his umbrella.

Unless he is a Texas Ranger or a cattle rancher, a gentleman does not wear cowboy boots with a suit.

When a gentleman feels the urge to color his mustache, he shaves his mustache off.

Although a gentleman usually takes his shirts to a laundry, he also knows how to use an iron and a can of spray starch.

A gentleman knows when it is all right to eat the garnish.

If a gentleman’s meal is slow to arrive from the kitchen, and if others at the table have been served, he urges them, “Please, go ahead without me.”  And he means it.

A gentleman never crunches on his ice cubes, except in the privacy of his home.

A gentleman knows that “please” and “thank you” are still the magic words.

And finally,

Unless he is teaching an English class, a gentleman does not correct another person’s grammar.  On the other hand, a gentleman monitors his own grammar scrupulously.

I hope you enjoyed these words of wisdom.

Your writing is killing your writing

Posted by george on March 21, 2009
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , , . 27 comments

Seriously.  There are a few basic concepts in which you need to become proficient or your writing will suffer the consequences.  Don’t take these foibles to task and ultimately, at some point, you will have killed your writing for good.

I recently picked up a book at a thrift store for a buck. Grammar Snobs Are Great Big Meanies: A Guide to Language for Fun and Spite is a fun poke at being too serious about grammar and it is  filled with points about how to make you not look like a knuckle-head.  It inspired me to bring forth some of the basic things that you may be doing – or not doing.  Things that are killing your writing. ← sentence fragment, my bad. ;-)

Perfectionists need not apply

Let me be clear from the outset:  I am of the opinion that your writing does not have to be perfect.  If you strive for perfection then you are in for a long and frustrating trip, spending all of your time at dreary rest stops along the writing highway.  With that said, you do need to have a grasp of the language, and you should always be trying to better your command of English.

Any MFA editor could tear most any post I write to shreds.  I haven’t put a perfect one out there yet.  This bothers me not.  I’m very happy with my style and voice and for the most part I try and avoid any egregious transgressions.  I know that there are areas that I can improve, and I’m always getting a little better.

Here we go

These are not all necessarily grammar related:

Contractions – I use these all of the time.  They are part of my style.  I try to write like the voice in my head sounds to me, which is conversational.  I’ve not had the opportunity to write something so formal that they would be discouraged.  That’s ok with me.

You need to know how to use them appropriately.  Placement of the ‘  is crucial.  Don’t rely on a spell checker to point these out for you – spell checkers are notorious for getting it wrong.

Commonly goofed up words with contractions: you’re, aren’t, don’t, haven’t I’ve, I’ll and a hundred others.  The apostrophe goes in to replace certain letters – not spaces.  So are not becomes aren’t.  The space between “are” and “not” just goes away and the apostrophe replaces the “o” in not.  Think of contractions in these terms and you’ll avoid most contraction crashes.

Proper word usage – If you want the grammar police to come knocking at your door, this is a sure way to make it happen.  While I am normally pretty relaxed about this stuff these things may bring me out of the closet wielding a bat:  Your and you’re; there, their, they’re; to, too, two.

For the love of Pete, please get these right.

Your is possessive.  “George, is that your bat?”  You’re is a contraction of you are. “George, you’re going to smack me with that bat?”   Please, please, please get this right.

Their is possessive.  “George, their intention was not to drive you crazy.”  They’re is a contraction of the words “they and “are”.  “George, they’re promising to never do it again.”

Adverbs – These verb modifiers will kill your fiction writing, he said sadly.  Remember that with all of your writing is is better to show than to tell.

Tyler’s crooked grin was menacing.  “Sure, I can help you put that in the truck.”

That sounds a lot better than:

Tyler said menacingly, “Sure, I can help you put that in the truck.”

Adverbs are the quickest way to kill your prose.  Don’t use them.  Or, use them sparingly, I guess.

Stunted, boring dialogue – Good dialogue is a joy to read, advances the story and is a great tool for character development.  Bad dialogue kills your writing.  That loud slap you heard was the sound of a reader shutting your book, never to open it again.

Here is an excerpt from my novel in progress, Bully:

The Billisons lived one street over and two houses down.  Eddie ran/walked/ran over and just about ran poor Angie over as he rounded the corner of the house.

“Jeez, Eddie.  Where’s the fire?!”

“Sorry, Angie.” Eddie gasped.  He was bent over, hands resting on his knees, catching his breath.  “Denis and…James.  Found a…cave. Wanna go see?”

“Whoopee!”  Angie clapped her hands and started running.

“Hey, where ya goin’!?”

“To get my bike!  I’ll meet you at your house!”

Eddie stood there on the Billison’s front lawn, shaking his head as he watched her go.  “That girl is wound up tighter than a ten dollar watch.”

No adverbs, not a lot of extra clutter.  But does this brief snippet give you a good idea about the scene and the two characters?  I hope so.  Simple and true to life.

When writing dialogue, use the voice in your head.  Picture the scene and the characters involved.  Use dialogue as a great opportunity to build your characters.

That’s not all

I just noticed that my word count is approaching 900 and I hate going more than about 500 so I’m stopping here.  I’ll probably do a follow up post at some point, ’cause Lord knows, there’s a lot more than this that is killing your writing.

Your turn.  Thoughts and comments about what you think kills writing?