There’s a little market down the road from the elementary school I teach at every now and then. I head there at lunch and get a little sustenance on occasion. There is a clerk there I want to tell you about.
She’s probably in her mid-fifties or so and is quite ordinary in most every way. What makes her stand out? She is genuinely and positively nice. She is always smiling, and in listening to her interaction with each patron, you would think she was dishing out the potato salad at the worlds biggest family reunion.
What reason does she have for being so nice? She has to work hard every day at a job that probably pays close to minimum wage. She obviously is not in a situation for her to be spending her golden years at home, bouncing the grand kids on her knee.
She is special because she is genuinely nice.
Because of her, when I go to that market I always have a pleasant experience.
What are you driving at, George?
It’s simple, really. In every interaction we have, be it online or in person, we have a choice in how we choose to interact.
Let’s look at a situation on the opposite end of the spectrum:
There’s a fairly popular blog that I frequent. I’ve always liked the style and I started interacting with the blog owner. We seemed to hit it off ok and soon I headed over there with each post, commenting and interacting.
One day, I left a comment and someone left a kind of pissy/snarky response to my comment. Made me angry, it did. I made the mistake of responding in that vein and blew the guy out of the water in a not very nice way. The blog owner did a strong and prompt (and appropriate) reprimand of my new comment. I totally deserved it.
I emailed the owner with my apologies, he made light of it and said he actually agreed with what I had to say in my response.
So, all is good, right? Wrong. That incident permanently changed our relationship. I still go there and comment, but the feel is different, the responses are different and it’s just not the same.
The point is that I could have been nice in the way I handled the situation and everyone would have been the better for it.
Get on with it already, George!
Okay, I will.
How does this translate into a writing inspiration?
As much as writing is a solitary sport, you will at times have to interact with other humans on the planet. How you choose to handle those interactions will have a profound effect on your success as a writer.
Being nice is an art form. It is a way of life. If you are nice, it comes out in your query letters and in your dealings with publishers and agents. Think about the old adage of smiling while on the phone. It’s the same thing.
Here’s an important concept:
Nice does not mean spineless
Being nice does not mean hiding under a cover, not poking your head up lest you offend someone. Being nice is a mindset that allows you to appropriately respond to others in a manner that results in positive outcomes. Not every result will be sunshine and roses, but if you are nice then you held up your end of the bargain.
