I’m sorry to say that Alaska has the worst drivers in the world. Truly. I lived in SoCal for a number of years and I would take the LA drivers all day long over the Alaska ones. What’s the problem with Alaska drivers? They lack precision. How is this related to writing? Lack of precision in writing is equally frustrating.
- Not using turn signals. Rude, and completely unfair to others trying to navigate the road. Do you signal your intentions for your readers? Is the title for your piece appropriate and likely to give the flavor of where you are heading? Making your readers aware of your intention with the story is courteous and makes for a pleasant reading experience. it also allows them to make decisions for their next move. Do they continue reading or do they yield to other drivers writers?
- Not making full use of the on-ramp. That half mile stretch is designed to allow drivers to get up to highway speed for an easy merge. Are you taking too long to get to your point? Frustrated readers will only hang with this for so long before they blast past you, giving the single-fingered-Alaskan-salute as they thunder by. Readers want action. Give it to them early.
- Driving 50 in the fast lane. Get your story moving or get it the heck off the freeway. If you’re going to play with the big boys and girls then strap in and have your chops up to speed. Never put anything out there that is less than your best work.
- Don’t park like an idiot. If you’re going out into the public, pay attention to how and where you park. Are you taking up two spots while on Twitter or Facebook? Make it easier for other folks to enjoy their trips to these stores by pulling in, getting your business done and then getting the hell out. Promote your writing whilst displaying courtesy to others that may be looking for a spot. Being a parking hog could get you some nasty notes on your windshield.
- Cutting the corner on a left turn. The quickest way to wreck your writing is to cut corners. Shoddy research leads to shoddy writing. Being less than precise with your written words can come back to haunt you. Lazy turns become habit and before you know it, you cut at the wrong time and wind up in the writing ditch.
- Not knowing (or ignoring) the rules of the road. This all encompassing snare gets folks all the time. If you don’t know the rules of the writing road then by God you better learn them. Read up on proper grammar and punctuation. Practice and rewrite as necessary. Like the Officer says, “I didn’t know” is a piss-poor excuse.
So, there’s my take on this. Do yourself a favor and learn to be precise. Don’t be one of “those” drivers.
You continue to amaze me, George! I love how you took a serious post that could be dry and turned it into a driving lesson at the same time, with humor sprinkled throughout.
Totally agree with you on SoCal drivers – I’m from San Diego – they can do 80 with bumper-to-bumper precision. Floridians must take drivers ed at the same school as Alaskans.
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Hi Laura.
Thanks for being so kind. Means a lot coming from a writer of your caliber.
Hehe, yeah, it was the 80mph, hair-width spacing that I was thinking of. Of course, I thought of my ambulance driving days as well. Doing 60 down Wilshire – the wrong way. Yeah, baby. Yeah.
George
Awesome bookmark-worthy post, George! There certainly are some pretty scary drivers out there! lol.
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Hey Dana,
I can’t believe I managed to take two pretty much unrelated things and put together a post. not sure what that says about me…:-)
George
Wonderful take on writing, I particularly like the bit about not cutting corners!
I would never have thought of Alaskans as bad drivers!
Walker´s last [type] ..A Word as Inspiration for Three Interlinked Posts
Hi Walker!
The lack of precision really does irk me – in driving and writing. I mean, I’m not perfect put I always try and play well with others (on the page and on the road). I am constantly amazed by how bad the drivers up here are.
George
That on ramp thing really gets my goat!
Heather,
Oh yeah. I’m reminded of the onramps for the Pasadena freeway in LA. (One of the first ones ever built) The on ram,ps and off ramps were about 75 feet long with a button hook at the end. Highway engineers eventually figured out that that was a bad plan.
Nice to see you here, hope all is well.
George
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Great article George! I’m not a writer, but if I do end up writing something, I will try and keep these driving rules close to my heart. Thanks for you excellent work as always – Cheers!
Jorin Cowley´s last [type] ..JorinCowley- RT @tedtalks- Lewis Pugh swims a high-altitude lake- created by glacial melting on Mt Everest- and learns a radical lesson- http-ont
Hey Jorin, Thanks for coming on by. I appreciate the kind words. Hey, maybe I should publish a rules of the road for drivers!
George
Nice job, George, marrying two concepts to provide a fun visit to an important, but possibly dull subject. Writing is all about control and your precision driving tips work well as a metaphor.
Don’t park like an idiot – I love it!
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Hi Tammi,
Actually, this one was a lot of fun to write as well. I know I had to stretch things a bit but overall I think it worked!
George
Beep! Beep!
Oh, hi George, didn’t recognize you behind those shades. Nice wheels. That a Hemi? Say, what’s up with that ego license plate? Yeah, the one that says GRTSCOT. Huh? Oh fudge, gotta read this text. Later … (cellphone hangs up).
The above is (hopefully) an addition to your Precision Writing/Driving metaphorical piece, which was way cool, George.
* No yammering while driving. I mean, no mindless spousal chitchat, no yelling at your pre-school tax deductions, no distracting technology (make that no TV, no Internet game-playing, no porno site-surfing, no thumpin dance music), and no alcohol or other ego-crutches, while you are attempting to write creatively.
Otherwise, you’ll have no one but yourself to blame if that piece is rejected by your blog audience, a publishing house, or a writing contest.
Oh, and don’t try to talk your way out of that DUI ticket by using
slurred speech incorporating “try and” instead of the grammatically correct (and ass-saving) “try TO.” The judge will throw the book at you! Yeesh!
And finally this. Recently, Wisconsin enacted a law requiring all drivers to purchase automobile insurance. (Heck, I assumed that every driver cared enough to insure himself/herself/yourselves).
And that metaphor means?
Proof your draft. Read it out loud. Have another person proof and critique it. Edit. Edit Edit. It’s insurance for the writer’s (and, yes, the reader’s) soul.
One more thing before I sign: precision writing is not like those car commercials where a team of “precision” drivers weave and bob in lock-step unison around obstacles. Precision writing is best exemplified by the well-trained and fearless solo driver jamming his way to the checkered flag at Road America or Laguna Seca.
Victory is so sweet!
And, you’ll be a chick/dude magnet!
Gotta go, George. I think I locked my keys in my Yugo.
Wayne C. Long
Writer/Editor/Digital Publisher
http://www.LongShortStories.com
Where the Short Story LIVES!
Hehe. Hey Wayne. I just knew this one would tickle your writing bone. I love how you weave the driving theme through your comment, you ol cafe racer you.
Always a lot of fun, buddy.
George
Nice post George. You can’t beat a weird and wonderful analogy combined with sound writing advice!
Hey thanks, Iain.
Weird and (sometimes) wonderful. Yep, that would be me.
Thanks for dropping by!
George
I’ve been a bad driver (writer) once but due to my willingness to learn, I did observe what is right. I may not have perfected the craft but I’m always open to learn from my mistakes.
Good piece George.
Walter´s last [type] ..Four things you must accomplish before you die
Hi Walter.
Heh. That’s awesome and I agree with the concept of learning by mistake – I am the master.
George
Nope. Drivers in Glendale, California are the worst. Followed close by the Chinese drivers in El Monte and neighboring towns of Southern CA. As to the drivers in Glendale, an Armenian town, the Chief of Police here used to joke (privately) that the drivers were so bad because they’d been around Arabs so much.
Things haven’t gotten any better since cellphones came in.
I’ve been all over Alaska. Seen some bad driving. Maybe Glendale people moved up north? But nowhere near as bad in AK, overall, as Glendale, which statistically is confidently at the top of the country for worst driving statistics.
Janey is correct. Glendale, CA has the worst drivers I’ve ever seen. I live here, and often drive around doing errands. It’s rare to drive even a mile or two without seeing stupid and reckless driving, sometimes breathtakingly stupid. BTW, the idiots here are as dumb OUTSIDE their cars as inside. In my car, at a standstill, I have been hit by a bicyclist speeding on the wrong side of the road while on a cellphone; AND by, of all things, a young man speeding along on a motorized skateboard (also on the wrong side of the road and running a red light as well.)
Oh goodness, Sam. That is some scary stuff for sure. It woukd be interesting to see stats about this, but so many of the things that the dolts are doing never make it to the headlines.
Cheers
George
Hey Janey,
I must bow to your wisdom. I worked as a paramedic in Glendale for a number of years and yes, there is something about the Armenian population that seems to just not get it. Maybe they are moving to Alaska. Yikes.
Thanks for dropping by.
George
Nice post You can’t beat a weird and wonderful analogy combined with sound writing advice!