I’ve been working at the library in Wasilla for about a year now (No, I haven’t seen Sarah yet) and I thought I’d take a few minutes and post some of my observations about being in the library. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
- We can’t keep books about Wicca and Wiccans on the shelf. They keep turning up “missing”. Common wisdom says that there are some in the community who don’t want that kind of evil spread amongst the population. If I could only get them to check out all the Al Gore books.
- You can always tell when someone has fines on the books they are dropping off. They put the books on the counter from a long arms reach and damn near run out the door.
- We have a book called “Women’s Moods”. It’s got a non-fiction call number and I keep getting in trouble for shelving it in the “Mystery” section.
- One of my co-workers checks out a lot of books. When we leave the library at closing, more often than not she sets off the detector because she forgets to run the books spines over the magnetizer. To help her with this problem, I placed a couple of the magnet strips on the bottom of her purse – pretty much guaranteeing she’ll set the thing off, books or not.
- I had a mom drag her pre-teen boy by the ear all the way up to the circ desk. Turns out he had been in the bathroom for about a half hour with a few choice books about the female anatomy.
- I went into the men’s room last winter and found a very disgusting substance on the floor. Apparently someone was VERY excited about being at the library.
- I do all the book mending at the library. It absolutely cracks me up when the books about dog training get returned and their corners are all chewed off.
- About 90% of the people who come in and swear on a stack of bibles that they returned an overdue book come back a few days later and sheepishly hand over the volume that had slid behind the back seat of the car.
- This still just blows me away: did you know that the call numbers on the spines of books are not standardized? A library can assign any old number they like. So, something that has a # of 615.20 at one library could very well be 158.3 at another. Crazy, man.
- Children’s books take an unmerciful beating.
- The Garfield books still fly out of the library at a tremendous rate.
Just a few observations from your local guybrarian.
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This is SUCH a great way to start the day — thank you George!
I volunteer at my library, and don’t have nearly as much fun as you. I think Alaskans are much more edgy and quirky than us laid-back Vancouverites
Laurie
PS Are you ready to review my ebook about monetizing your blog? I can send it to you on Monday…..
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last [type] ..How to Write Better Sentences, Better Paragraphs, Better Everything!
Hey there Laurie.
Oh yeah. Quirky is an understatement! I think that sometimes the library staff sometimes doesn’t know what to do with me!! (Just how I like it)
Absolutely I’m ready to review the monetizing book. I’ll look forward to it.
Have a great weekend!
George
LOL, thanks for that, George.
I’m the patron who always finds the book two days after she paid for it.
Happy Friday!
Tammi Kibler´s last [type] ..Librarians Make Search Sexy
Hi Tammi,
You are welcome! Glad I made ya laugh, have a great weekend.
George
Oh my…thanks, I’ll never look at libraries the same way again!
Carrie
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Carrie,
Ahh yes, the seedy underbelly of a public institution. Like observing the making of sausage, ’tis not for the faint of heart.
George
Hi George,
I say good for the kid who was educating himself about the opposite sex. Bravo, matey!
People still read Garfield? Oh my, I swear I learn something kooky every day.
This post reminds me of when I used to manage a gym. People do some really interesting things — no doubt about it.
What a fun post, George!
Lori´s last [type] ..Nearing Half Way
What a fun post…I didn’t know you worked in a library! Tell me, does the quiet relax you or condition you against loud noises so much so that when you’re out in real ‘noise’ you feel on edge?
I’ve always wondered that
Hi Heather,
Actually, I think the days of quiet libraries are gone. Cell phones, loud conversations and crying babies are kinda the norm these days!
Towards the end of the evening it’s very relaxing. I think the stacks of books must absorb ambient sounds because it becomes very still.
George
Great observations about your library. I’m glad to hear that people in your neck of the woods still use the library to read books. I’m in Orlando, and it seems here most people use it to get CDs, DVDs and free internet access. I worry that one day soon they’ll stop stocking books, and the remaining few readers like me will be forced to start buying our own.
Hi Susan,
There are so many folks who come in to the library now and never touch a book. They leave with a dozen DVDs and spend an hour on the internet computers and that’s about it. Kinda sad, isn’t it?
George
Have you ever thought about being a stand-up comedian, George? Your observations are priceless…ok, a few were disgusting but still…
Laura Eno´s last [type] ..The Choosing – #FridayFlash
Laura, Ha!
I’ve thought about it but I’ve got stage fright (which is why I don’t write Westerns) Hehe.
Thanks!
George
I love Garfield! This was fun
.
Christopher´s last [type] ..How to Make Your Business Stand Out Like Jeff Dunham
Glad you liked it, Chris.
Always nice to see you here.
George
Oh, George! You’re so funny.
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Michele,
And, my own best audience too!
George
George-san, you so funny!
My wife had an experience where the local library Nazis sent her an official-looking letter advising that she had not returned a novel for many, many weeks. Big trouble!
My wife is a very sharp woman and was certain she had returned that book, so she marched in to the library and went to the stacks where, sure enough, there was the “missing” book. My wife mentioned this to the librarian and the officious one apologized all over the place. I suppose these mishaps happen, but had my wife been a real rag about it, there might have been blood. Heh heh!
Your mention of the men’s bathroom floor haveing a “disgusting substance” on it reminds me of when I was on vacation down south and I went into a stall in the men’s room of a Bob Evans restaurant and closed the door, only to be greeted with earthy graffiti artfully painted on that door very recently with someone’s excretus dilecti. It was an out-of-body experience for this writer, something like being an extra in “Deliverance.”
I didn’t stick around to use the stall and, instead, left that knockoff Sistine Chapel fresco for the poor teenager who has to swab the decks before closing. After all, I’m all about helping young people build character.
George, I really think that you have the makings of a delicious short story here. I would be only too proud to weigh in with you if your readers wish it so.
Wayne C. Long
Author of “Stall”
A short story in the LongShortStories digital collection.
Wayne,
Yup, there are a certain percentage of books that fall through the cracks and make it back on the shelf. Part of it is the software that is ubiquitous in the library world, some of it can be attributed to librarian boo-boos.
Thanks for the short story idea. I’m not “stalling” but I’ll put me thinking cap on!
George
Now THERE’s a topic worthy of your attention! Librarian boo-boos! Love to hear about that!
Funny, funny… I admit to not using the library very often, shame on me. But your post kinda makes me want to go to the library. Kinda odd take away here.
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Hi there Walker!
Nice to see ya! Heh. Maybe a day of observation at a library could be an eye opener for folks. Not as much fun as people watching in an airport, but probably pretty close!
George