One of my clients I write for sent me a 2000 word article for editing by proxy the other day. I was glad to do this project because it was a break from the normal writing that I do. I opened the document and activated the track changes feature and got right on it. This ended up being the inspiration for this open letter of apology to any editor to whom I have submitted or will ever submit anything I write.
Dear Editor,
I want to take a moment to personally thank you for looking at my work. I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize for my writing. Specifically, I would seek your forgiveness for:
- Writing a 30 word sentence when a ten word one would do.
- Including my very clever hyperbole at every opportunity (parenthetically, of course)
- Creating numerous opportunities to use an ellipse
- Using acronyms that I am familiar with and assuming that everyone else is, too
- Not understanding when to use numerals versus their word counterparts
- Hyphenating the cliche’s I use
- The generous sprinkling of quotation marks around emphasized words
- Having at least one bolded sentence in each paragraph
- Meandering around my point without ever really reaching it
- Starting as many sentences as possible with “and” or “but”
I would also like to apologize for not really taking the time to proofread several times what it is I’ve sent you, even though that is what an editor is for, right?
As a token of my sincerity, please find an enclosed check for $20 to help defray the cost of your red or blue pencil supply.
Sincerely,
George Angus
OK readers, now that I’ve got my tongue pulled back from my cheek I can move forward. The lesson here is simple, really. When you are sending something off to an editor, take a good, hard look at what it is that you are sending. Get another set of eyes on your prose if possible. While I would never advocate squelching your natural voice, remember the old adage “Kill your darlings”.
Let ‘em rip, readers. What are your experiences and thoughts?
LOL George!
And I’m a little worried about the guy in the prison break photo …
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Oh, but you’ve got keen streetsense. He’s a bad character – avoid at all costs!
George
You’re such a hoot, George! I love this. I have caught stuff after I sent it to my editor(s). Sometimes I’ve quickly contacted them and let them know I caught it and that I’ve sent a revised version for their convenience.
Great job on this post!
*smiles*
Michele
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Michele,
Thanks! Oh yeah. I ALWAYS find my boo-boos right after I hit “send”
The first positive response I got back for a query I sent to a national magazine, I replied with “I would be very interesting in doing this article!” Yikes.
Cheers!
George
What we need is an email program smart enough to just make us think we’re really sending things so our errors will magically appear, THEN really send it.
WordPress needs that feature, too.
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George, LOL! Oh yes, I have edited these documents. I believe part of the issue is that many non-writers really do not understand the difference between proofreading, editing and substantive editing. I have found this especially true of business people writing to drive revenue rather than for a love of writing. Writers would not dream of sending off their first, second or even third draft to an editor. A non-writer is blissfully free of the self-censure we apply and happily sends off their less than perfect work for us to tidy up.
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Hey Karen,
That is why the apology letter is there, O Goddess of the Editing World. I know I’ve not been as blatant, but I know I could be a LOT better!
Cheers
Thanks for a good laugh George. I often have the responsibility of reviewing documents written by others at work. I think everyone should get the chance to play “editor” sometimes, as it always serves as a good reminder to be vigilant lest we lapse into bad writing habits.
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George,lol! Not sure about Goddess, Goof is probably the better description.
I am, after all the goof who got quoted recently with a sentence ending in a preposition. How’s that for terrific advertising for a writer!
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Say What? The New Age of Comunication
Karen,
Hehe. That’s the kind of stuff I was thinking of.
Hehe. Glad to help, that’s what I’m here for.
Oh my goodness I crack myself up.
George
I’m sorely tempted to print that out and frame it.
That is why I charge by the hour. The worse it is, the better my vacation. Sure, it’s frustrating at times but in the end, doing the big clean up is rather more satisfying than fighting someone on every adjective cut, no?
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Talshannon,
Sounds great! I love to hear about printworthy stuff.
Cheers!
George
Marcia,
That is an outstanding point. Yeah, tooth and nail over single words is yukky
Thanks for dropping by.
George
Oh wow, having been proof-reading my kids’ writing now for years, I can completely empathize with the above…and also feel regret for my editors who had to deal with my first book-writing effort too.
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Hey Barbara,
That’s what I was thinking too. I considered things I’ve sent to editors where I’ve done a lot of the things mentioned in the letter.
George
Huh. Sounds like the majority of my blog posts.
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Now, now Mr Terry.
I’ve been lurking over there through the email rss and I know you are telling a big, fat fib.
Your stuff is wonderful and a great read. I’m always entertained.
George
LOL George,
This is sweet and to the point with a grain of salt. I don’t think I could find a better recipe myself on my best baking days.
I’ll keep your advice in mind for when I send my first “top selling” eBook to an editor.
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Hi Monika,
Thanks for stopping by. My only concern now is that I’ve set the bar too high! I’m working on a keyword writing project right now and I’m micro-analyzing every nuance so my client doesn’t point me back to this post with a big, “A-hem!”
Cheers
George
Aww, George, I totally second this post. I often find myself writing too quickly. Leaving too little a window between composition and revision. Always looking to see that it is so necessary to take more time on everything I write. Even now, I just want to hit “Say It!”…*reads comment*. Guess these words will do for a comment.
Hey everyone, give Jessie a great big “Welcome Back”! She is @covewriter on Twitter and it sounds like she’s had an *interesting* few months.
Good to see you here, and thanks for the comments.
Cheers
George
Whenever I hand something over to our wonderful quality team, I tend to apologise in advance. You know, stuff like ‘I was a bit up against it with this, there might be a few mistakes. Sorry!’
It makes me feel better. That’s the main thing.
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Too funny! my own typos and misuse of words is so annoying to me! I was writing something about write and wrong the other day, yeah, I know. my daughter shot me an email with her little “lol” comment.
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